This morning as I was playing Hillsong's 'Hosanna' on my guitar, I couldn't help experience the awesomeness and hugeness of God and the ugliness and depravedness my own sin. It really hit when I began to sing the bridge of the song.
'Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what is yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity'
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what is yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity'
What God exposed through His grace was my lack of love and lack of forgiveness I have towards my father. Some regretful things happened while I was growing up. And to this point, I don't think my father has truly felt he was wrong for anything. He isn't a believer, and since I became a believer its been a constant uphill battle to show respect and love to my father as I see the fruit of his own sin. This sense of hopelessness feeds my unfaithfulness towards God as I wonder why God can't bring my father to faith and repentance. So as I sang the bridge to 'Hosanna' I couldn't help but sense God pointing the sin in my heart with regard to my dad.
I couldn't control my emotions anymore. And I began to beg God to show me how to follow Him through the commandments 'to love our enemies' (Matthew 5:43-48) and 'honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you' (Exodus 20:2-18). And in an instant, in my mind's eye, God brought me to Gethsemane. The Hoy Spirit brought to life Matthew 26:36-45. I gazed at Jesus on His knees praying to the Father, asking for the Father's will to be done, even if it met death to himself. Jesus was honoring His Father and doing what was required to bring atonement for sin. I felt Christ's exhortation to honor my dad, as Christ also honors His Dad. Its something to pray about as Father's Day comes up.
May the Lord give me the strength, wisdom, and love to see my father as God sees my father. To be able to see that God is working even though I may not see it. May God pour into my heart His grace and mercy, so my words, actions, and thoughts would be saturated with the Cross when next I interact with my dad and there after. May I be less and Christ be more.
I couldn't control my emotions anymore. And I began to beg God to show me how to follow Him through the commandments 'to love our enemies' (Matthew 5:43-48) and 'honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you' (Exodus 20:2-18). And in an instant, in my mind's eye, God brought me to Gethsemane. The Hoy Spirit brought to life Matthew 26:36-45. I gazed at Jesus on His knees praying to the Father, asking for the Father's will to be done, even if it met death to himself. Jesus was honoring His Father and doing what was required to bring atonement for sin. I felt Christ's exhortation to honor my dad, as Christ also honors His Dad. Its something to pray about as Father's Day comes up.
May the Lord give me the strength, wisdom, and love to see my father as God sees my father. To be able to see that God is working even though I may not see it. May God pour into my heart His grace and mercy, so my words, actions, and thoughts would be saturated with the Cross when next I interact with my dad and there after. May I be less and Christ be more.
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